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September 6th, 2005

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August 10th, 2005

09:13 am I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate Rick Santorum. Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate. Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: "Megacolon" by Fischerspooner

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August 7th, 2005

05:43 pm I feel like August Strindberg right now. In every way possible. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: soooooo miserable.

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July 24th, 2005

03:12 pm So I'm applying for a job at the library right by my house. I think I have about a 75% chance of getting it. How hot is that? Also, I'm learning how to drive. I've been driving for two days now. I'm really not that bad, I just need some practice. Hopefully I will have my basic WA state driver's license on the 9th of September(my 18th birthday!) My parents said they'll purchase me a vehicle if I want, and I'm looking for a Chrysler from the 80's. My favorite models are the Chrysler 5th Avenue and the Chrysler New Yorker. And check this out: Bhaktivedanta College (opened in 2002) is a Krishna conscious school offering dynamic college-level programs. The main offering of the college is the Ministerial Program, which educates devotees to become preachers, teachers, leaders, scholars, and managers. Bhaktivedanta College is in partnership with the University of Wales, Lampeter (UWL), an acknowledged center for Theology and Religious Studies in the UK. This partnership enables Bhaktivedanta College to offer accredited academic courses for which students are awarded certificates and diplomas, leading to a degree. The home of the College is Radhadesh, idyllically set in the hilly rural Ardennes region of Belgium. Radhadesh is almost unequalled for peace and quiet yet is a vital devotee center and receives tens of thousands of visitors a year. Radhadesh is part of the International Society for Krishna Consciousness (ISKCON), Founder-Acarya: His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! < my excited noise. Current Mood: sleepy Current Music: "Same Situation" by Joni Mitchell

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July 21st, 2005

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July 19th, 2005

05:04 pm - walt whitman = God. "I celebrate myself And sing myself And what I assume, you shall assume For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you." After taking 40 minutes of my time to read "Song Of Myself," I had but one question to ask: Walt Whitman, where have YOU been all my life? It's the second best thing I have read...y'all know what will always be #1 in my heart... Oh that Bhagavad Gita! But seriously, I am running out and buying Leaves Of Grass. "A few light kisses....a few embraces....a reaching around of the arms, The play of shine and shade on the trees as the supple boughs wag, The delight alone or in the rush of the streets, or along the fields and hillsides, The feeling of health....the full-noon trill....the song of me rising from bed and meeting the sun. Have you reckoned a thousand acres much? Have you reckoned the earth much? Have you practiced so long to learn to read? Have you felt so proud to get at the meaning of poems? Stop this day and night with me and you shall possess the origin of all poems. You shall possess the good of the earth and sun....there are millions of suns left, You shall no longer take things at second or third hand....nor look through the eyes of the dead....nor feed on the spectres in books, You shall not look through my eyes either, nor take things from me, You shall listen to all sides and filter them for yourself." Current Mood: content Current Music: "Addictive" By Truth Hurts

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July 4th, 2005

08:13 pm - *Hugest sigh ever* For the past month or two, I've been so Goddamn miserable. It's ridiculous. I have no idea what the cause of this sudden melancholy is, and I don't know how to reverse it. I'm in one of those "nothing matters and I don't care if I die right now" phases. It's bad. I'm lonely as fuck. I've gained fifteen pounds in the past MONTH!!! I've been eating myself into oblivion. That's all I really have to do. I eat and shower five times a day out of boredom. That's really not a good sign. And I've tried so many things to make myself feel better, but it only gets worse. I'm worried for myself. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: "Ain't You Wealthy, Ain't You Wise" By Bonnie Prince Billy

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June 2nd, 2005

10:40 am - queers and spirituality The way people talk about religion makes us feel that we, as homosexuals, have no right to it. That pisses me off. The thing that pisses me off the most is that the spiritual/religious heritage of a lot of gays and lesbians -- and a lot of other minority groups -- has been stolen from them by people like Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and Trent Lott. When those people claim to have a monopoly on The Truth, it steals that heritage from us. Just because somebody is born athiest, agnostic, Muslim, or gay, doesn’t mean you can’t have a relationship with God, karma, Allah, the Spirit, or whatever. It doesn’t mean you can’t have that kind of relationship in your life. When you get these people who say that you have to have OUR god otherwise we’re going to kill you, and OUR god says you’re wrong, that leaves this kind of hostile atmosphere, and that's exactly what is happening right now, in the United States. Right here at home. We don't even feel that we have the RIGHT to normal religious or spiritual outlets. Fundamentalist sects have stolen our spirituality from us. They say "we don’t want you to look at the divine because you are evil." But the spiritual heritage is a heritage that every single human person has, and to be denied that heritage is a sin against human nature, in my opinion. Please, PLEASE don't let these people hijack your spirituality from you. They cannot hijack it without your consent. Current Mood: touched Current Music: "Son Of A Preacher Man" By Dusty Springfield (she was bi!)

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May 13th, 2005

02:26 pm Fuck anybody who has ever sent a text message on a cell phone. Even one. In fact, fuck cell phones for diluting human contact with meaningless conversation. Absence makes the heart grow fonder...you'll probably fucking see the person you're talking to in an hour anyway. Current Mood: pissed off

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11:35 am - Bhagavad Gita "The Bhagavad-Gita is the most systematic statement of spiritual evolution of endowing value to mankind. It is one of the most clear and comprehensive summaries of perennial philosophy ever revealed; hence its enduring value is subject not only to India but to all of humanity." ~ Aldous Huxley "In the morning I bathe my intellect in the stupendous and cosmogonical philosophy of the Bhagavad-Gita, in comparison with which our modern world and its literature seems puny and trivial." ~ Henry David Thoreau Current Mood: content Current Music: "Hare Krishna Mantra" - London Radha Krishna Temple

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April 22nd, 2005

01:43 pm - Oh my Krishna! Oh my Krishna, I have no idea what to do about Bradley. He is so cute, but so masculine. It's scary. Also, he's about two inches taller than me. Or something like that. Is it okay for lesbians to have man-crushes? I feel dirty and ashamed. Current Mood: SEXUALLY! Current Music: "The Blower's Daughter" By Damien Rice

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April 1st, 2005

05:36 pm I do not believe in god. I believe in hope. My existence is validated by the fact that I acknowledge it. The essence of "knowing" is a fortunate function of the human mind. Life is an organic being wandering in pure Chaos, sprung forth from a pure singularity and evolved into an infinitely complex state of being. God is a metaphoric drug turned ultimate superhero. What began as an explanation of the unknown for the lost, simple, and confused, is now a fabled role-model for the weak and a manipulative tool at the unforgiving disposal of Evil. God is used appropriately for those who seek comfort, hope and love. God is used inappropriately by those who seek to destroy, dominate, and die. I acknowledge a higher power, I understand my inferiority, I hope for a better tomorrow, and know that it may never come. Hope is the only weapon we have. Current Mood: thoughtful

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11:07 am - i liked this. The Vatican’s Condemnation of Gay Marriage: Another Galileo Case in the Making? By Dr. Matthew Fox The present papacy has prided itself on removing the condemnation of Galileo Galilei, which hung in the air for 359 years. In 1992 Pope John Paul II lifted the condemnation of Galileo and said that the case concerned him because it became “the symbol of the church’s supposed rejection of scientific progress, or of ‘dogmatic’ obscurantism opposed to the free search for truth.” At the time of the lifting of his condemnation for heresy and the admission that the earth does indeed revolve around the sun, the pope told the Academy of Sciences that “the underlying problems of this case concern both the nature of science and the message of faith. One day we may find ourselves in a similar situation which will require both sides to have an informed awareness of the field and of the limits of their own competencies.” This “one day” may have arrived. I speak of the pope’s and cardinal Ratzinger’s recent condemnation of homosexual unions. In the twelve page document called “Considerations Regarding Proposals To Give Legal Recognition to Unions Between Homosexual Persons” there is not one reference to any scientific discussion of homosexuality, not a single note of awareness of the fact that thirty years ago the American Psychiatric Association, for example, deleted the issue of homosexuality from its “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders” in the year 1973. (In 1992, the World Health Organization removed homosexuality from the International Classification of Diseases.) In fact, the papal document calls homosexuality “deviant behavior” and “evil.” What is most telling about this document is that its entire argument is built on an appeal to “natural moral law”—so much so that the document claims to speak not just to Roman Catholics but to all people “committed to promoting and defending the common good of society.” And yet—the only arguments given for “natural moral law” are from Scripture. Not a word from science. There are four footnotes to a catechism (!)—not one to any serious study about homosexuality. This is why, using the very Pope’s argument concerning Galileo, we have here a new Galileo case, one that demonstrates the church lacking an “informed awareness of the field and of the limits of its own competencies.” Will we have to wait another 400 years to hear a Pope apologize anew? The only “science” implicit in this condemnation of homosexuality is medieval science. As for the use of Scripture, it should be noted that the historical Jesus said not one recorded word about homosexuality. The three references to Saint Paul in this document should be taken with a heavy dose of salt. Why? Because Paul is the same author who declared that “slaves should obey their masters.” This kind of theology was invoked ad nauseam in the nineteenth century to support slavery. One of the scholarly achievements of our time has been to distinguish the words of the historical Jesus from those of the theologian Paul who is sometimes right on and some times way off the mark. It is scandalous that the Vatican has ignored its Biblical homework as much as its scientific homework. One can of course pick and choose Biblical texts to prove or disprove one’s own bias. A text I would like to put into the discussion is from John’s epistle that says: “God is love.” (Please note it does not say “God is heterosexual love only.” Simply, “God is love.”) Maybe the homosexual debate ought to be framed around that issue: Love. Just as the Vatican came reluctantly and ever so slowly to the truth that the earth does indeed revolve round the sun, so too it ought to listen to science about homosexuality. The facts are these: About 10% of any given human population is going to be homosexual. Furthermore, we now know that at least 64 other species have homosexual populations including dolphins, cranes, many birds and others. So the medieval argument—that homosexuality is “unnatural” or “contrary to natural law” and which is the entire basis for this papal document--is simply medieval science. It is not today’s science. Popes and inquisitors would do well to know the “limits of their own competencies” as the Pope put it while resuscitating Galileo. The fact is that being gay and expressing one’s love for another of the same sex is natural for gay and lesbian people. They are following the “natural law” by so doing. (Heterosexual marriage would be “unnatural” for them and does not work.) Nature has made them gay. A church that wants to teach love ought to be encouraging monogamous and established relationships of love instead of forcing gay people into self-hatred and sometimes into practices of promiscuity that separate love from sexual expression. As for the “common good” it should be noted that the common good is served in various ways by gay and lesbian people and their extraordinary gift in the arts is just one such gift. Does the pope pray in the Sistine Chapel? Does Cardinal Ratzinger visit there? A gay man did it! Michaelangelo and many artistic geniuses through the ages have been gay. Furthermore, this document claims that the purpose of marriage is to have children and that having children is the way the human race is to save itself. Here too the Vatican might do well to read today’s science. There are too many humans on the planet, not too few. Ways of birth control, including homosexual love, are ways to save our species and other species as well. (The idea that sex must be legitimized by having children comes from Saint Augustine, not from Christian Scriptures.) It is interesting that the papal document, which also condemns the adoption of children by gays, appeared at the moment of the Supreme Court decision removing homosexual acts as felonies. And at the time that the Episcopal Church wrestled publicly and courageously with the issue of ordaining an out of the closet gay man as Bishop. God bless the Episcopal Church for its Orthopraxis. God pray for the Vatican and others who think the gay issue is a Scriptural one when it fact it is an issue of nature and creation and our knowing more about both. It was the inability to comprehend a non-literal reading of Scripture and its “inability to disassociate itself from an age-old cosmology”, according to the Papal commission on Galileo, that resulted in his condemnation. Protestant Biblical advocates should take notice. Thomas Aquinas who is referenced in this document, himself wrote 700 years ago that “a mistake about creation results in a mistake about God.” Mistakes about creation happen when we ignore science whose job it is to examine creation. The mistakes about creation that are so plentiful in this document will lead people into mistakes about God. Instead of holding our breath for another 400 years while the Vatican gets its head out of its catechisms and starts learning what science says about homosexuality, it would be wise to put one’s energy into praising the amazing and beautiful diversity that the Creator has put into her creation—a diversity that includes homosexual love along with all the other kinds of love that course through humanity and other earthlings. Instead of condemning the Divine Imagination we might do well to start imitating it. Current Mood: cold Current Music: "River" By Joni Mitchell

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March 16th, 2005

02:29 pm Joaquin Phoenix is, in my opinion, the most gorgeous man alive. I would easily do him. Keanu, you do come close. Current Mood: BI CURIOUS!

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March 14th, 2005

10:22 am - This is good shit. Naga wearing, blue throat, 3 eyed wonder.. Laying back sipping poison like the finest cognac.. Doing drive bys on Asura turf like they were true OG Bloods.. You rock garlands and bangles similar to hustlers chromed out in ice. Keeping guard over the 3 worlds akin to the illest player holding down the corner pimpin his gopis. Your chariot thumps to the tabla rhythm not unlike suburban white boys pushing 12 inch subs. Your anklets clang reminiscent of 40 oz’s in the hands of God intoxicated Bhaktas getting down to the dopest kirtan. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I make moves towards the Light.. Supracosmic jivan flight… Ego trembles in its plight… Like Narada mends what’s right… At Lotus Feet in Shiva’s sight… Bow to Linga day and night… Pillar of fire with infinite height.. Chitraratha gardens for Shankar’s delight… Pushhpadanta shakes with fright… In the presence of Rudra’s might.. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Ubiquitous Purusha Prakriti homerun.. Redsox reign supreme like the caitanya of Brahmanji.. Downtown stomping like an urban sadhu.. Scriptures scrawling kids plaster Om’s with Krylon cans.. Modern day techno geek cyber sangha chela.. Chatroom cesspit Buddhist Charvakan posers.. Misquoting sutra like a newbie newage Chopra fan. This world preserved in mAyA like a can of aging Spam… Current Mood: crazy Current Music: "Smack My Bitch Up" By Prodigy

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March 7th, 2005

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March 6th, 2005

11:54 am - who is krishna? this sums it up pretty well for me.... An excerpt from... Who is Krishna? Written by Cetanarahita dasa, found at http://www.krishna.com/newsite/printarticles/Who_is_Krishna.html Some say, “God has no name,” but God has so many names that any one name is not God’s only name. We cannot limit the Unlimited. All-attractive God has unlimited names according to His activities. He is called Devaki-nandana because He accepted Devaki as His mother. He is called Nanda-nandana and Yashoda-nandana in relationship with Nanda Maharaja and Yashoda, His foster father and mother. He is called Partha-sarathi because He was the chariot driver of Arjuna. He is Bhakta-vatsala, affectionate to His devotees. He is Gopinatha, the Lord of the gopis. He is Gopijana-vallabha, beloved of the inhabitants of Vrindavana. He is Bhava-grahi Janardana, who understands one’s mental attitude. He is Varadaraja, the best of the givers of benedictions. He is Avatari, the source of all incarnations. He is Radha-ramana, the lover of Radharani. He is Govinda, who gives pleasure to the cows* and to everyone’s senses. He is Krishna. If any transcendental name belongs to the Absolute Personality of Godhead, it must be the name indicated by the word Krishna, which means all-attractive. One is attractive if he is wealthy, powerful, famous, beautiful, wise, or renounced. The Supreme Person possesses in fullness all wealth, all power, all fame, all beauty, all wisdom, and all renunciation. Therefore He is Bhagavan. Bhaga means “opulence” and van means “one who possesses.” Lord Sri Krishna is mentioned on every page of the Bhagavad-gita as Bhagavan. The word Bhagavan denotes a great person or demigod, but all authorities of Vedic knowledge confirm that Krishna is the Supreme Person. The Lord Himself establishes this in the Bhagavad-gita, and He is accepted as such in the Brahma-samhita and all the Puranas, especially Srimad-Bhagavatam. Krishna’s Unparalleled Activities The Vedic history of the universe extends billions of years into the past. Throughout those years, it gives the histories of Krishna’s appearances and disappearances. In the Bhagavad-gita, Krishna tells Arjuna that both He and Arjuna had had many births before. Krishna could remember all of them but Arjuna could not. This is the difference between Krishna, God, and Arjuna, man. Krishna’s knowledge and memory are boundless, but Arjuna’s knowledge and memory are limited by time and space. *COWS ARE SACRED From the Mahabharata, Anusasana Parva, Sections LXXXIII - LXXVII - LXXVI Bhishma said: No sacrifice can be performed without the aid of curds and ghee (clarified butter). The very character of sacrifice which sacrifices have, depends upon ghee. Hence ghee (or, the cow from which it is produced) is regarded as the very root of sacrifice. Cows have been said to be the limbs of sacrifice. They represent sacrifice itself. Without them, there can be no sacrifice. With their milk and the Havi produced therefrom, they uphold all creatures by diverse acts. Cows are guileless in their behaviour. From them flow sacrifices and Havya and Kavya, and milk and curds and ghee. Hence, cows are sacred. P.S. - It's my mom's birthday today. Current Mood: sore Current Music: "Mother" by John Lennon

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March 5th, 2005

12:03 am In the end, all thoughts, philosophies, and religions take us to the same place, and that is love. Love is the simplest and most profound teaching of every great saint that has walked this world. Love is the essence of all things. When you move to the core of your being, you find the safe place of universal love - love that is without wants, needs, expectations, and fear. Love is non-duality. Every quality in our manifestation has an opposite, which is the root teaching of the dualists, except for love. Not even hate is love's opposite. Hate has an opposite, which is love, but in the light of love, nothing can exist. This is the deepest and truest teaching of yoga. When you move into the very depth of your being and you experience your eternal fountain of universal love, you merge into oneness with all. This is Patanjali's yoga, this is Jois' yoga, this is Iyengar's yoga, this is Yogananda's yoga, this is Muktananda's yoga, this is Christ's yoga, this is Mohammed's yoga... this simply Is. In the light of love, dogma, philosophy, tradition, ritual, practice, thought, feeling, and such, are obsolete. In fact, these things, in the end, will actually hinder us from experiencing the fullness of Divine love. When you look at another, when you look at yourself, do not see dogma, politics, qualities, or practice, just see the unbound fullness of Divine love. Current Mood: loved Current Music: 92.3 FM (courtesy of Alex)

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March 4th, 2005

09:54 am - ... http://www.ostrichink.com/dec2004/hasidic.html I've never seen a Hasidic man in real life, but I am totally hot for them. I want one. Badly. This is not a joke. Current Mood: horny Current Music: "Mr. Brightside" by The Killers

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March 3rd, 2005

04:46 pm - Hmmm Realization of the day - I am what I am because that's what I am. I do what I do because that's what I do. Everything is what it is and exists as it exists because that is how it is and must be at that moment. Everything at some future moment will be what it is and exist as it exists because that is how it will be and must be at that moment. Everything at some past moment was what it was and existed as it existed because that is how it was and must have been at that moment. I think if one can truly understand this, internalize it and let it rule her (or his ;)) thoughts at every moment, then one can come very close to spiritual perfection. The last step to perfection is remaining utterly indifferent at all times to what this statement means as it is applied throughout our lives. - This is I'm sure really just a restatement of steps to spiritual perfection: dissolution of the human ego, indifference to material dualities and complete faith in destiny/the order of existence; but I think it sums it up in a more focused way for me, at least based on what I need to focus on at the moment. *Addition 1: Speaking of understanding what it means in every aspect of life, I was thinking. I said "spiritual perfection" to delineate the two types of perfection - namely, physical and spiritual. I did this because physical perfection, if it exists, is unattainable. We cannot make ourselves physically perfect, whatever one's definition of physical perfection might be, unless we are by nature physically perfect or meant to become physically perfect. Likewise, we cannot become spiritually perfect if that is not our destiny. Hmm... but the thought that follows is: what is physical perfection? In terms of a human being or any other living entity, large material object, etc., I'm not sure that it makes any sense. Pefect means "without fault," so is there anything physical that exists that is without a fault? Every machine must break down from its intended purpose, every organic body must perish at some point, every stone must be annihilated if only at the end of the universe and everything material that once came into existence must leave from it again. Or if you think of perfection as "perfection of the form," then we can still not attain it. What is the perfect form of a human being? I think therefore that "perfection" can only be applied within this world to physical things that are unmanifest, such as geometric shapes (e.g. a perfect circle, square, straight line). In theory there is even a "perfect person," which must God. But even these geometric forms are not things that human beings are capable of producing, at least at this point in time. Therefore, are human beings capable of producing spiritual perfection? But wait, perhaps we can procuce perfect forms... within our minds and unmanifest within the world outside. When I think "square," I may be picturing a perfect square. If that is possible, then perhaps spiritual perfection, which means spiritual perfection of the mind, is possible. But it may not be possible; I think that to picture a perfect geometric shape we would have needed to see one at some point. So, if we've seen spiritual perfection does that mean that we can then attain spiritual perfection? If so, then that is the purpose of figures such as Lord Krsna, Lord Buddha, and Lord Jesus: to allow us a glimpse of perfection and make it possible for us to attain. Am I still making sense? *Addition 2: OK, it seems to me now that there are three types of perfection - namely, physical, mental and spiritual. When speaking of a person, physical perfection would refer to a human specimen with no physical faults OR a human specimen whose form is perfect, and mental perfection would mean "perfectly intelligent." These are all states unobtainable (at least at this point) by human beings (or any living entity that is lower than God, unless you take the view that "everything is perfect as it's made"). So, God is the perfection of all three of these aspects, among other things, and living entities (at the moment anyway) can only strive for spiritual perfection. But what is spiritual perfection? I proposed before that if one can control the mind in such and such a way as to truly internalize that first paragraph that I wrote and employ it with complete indifference in each and every aspect of his or her life, then that person has attained spiritual perfection. So, spiritual perfection requires a level of mental perfection (measured by intelligence), but not complete mental perfection/intelligence. Spiritual perfection doesn't seem to require physical perfection, because it is possible I would imagine for someone with no physical power, perhaps a paraplegic, to attain spiritual perfection. On the same token, a person must be "physically perfect" to the degree that he or she is still within the body and the mind is intact. So, spirituality requires a certain level of physical and mental perfection, but seems to require neither fully. Is spirit then just a combination of mind (intelligence) and body? Or perhaps a meeting point between the two? Maybe spirit it is the entity that becomes manifest when mind and body are joined... This would seem to be in line with religious philosophy, and certainly that of Krsna in Bhagavad Gita. Every living entity has a soul, and every living entity is a combination of mind and body. Therefore, a dead body with no mind does not have spirit and intelligence with no body cannot have spirit - although I'm not sure how the latter is possible. Perhaps that comes into play in regards to machines that are deemed "intelligent," but that do not possess conscious bodies such as those of the living entities. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: "Aatavu Chanda (Dancing is Beautiful)"

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